A wrinkle in the fabric of dual identities

I think my mother is becoming suspicious.

Every time I go out to battle the forces of evil, I've been telling her that I have romantical dates planned. She gives me suspicious eyes but does not say anything. She knows that my SI does not usually have romantical dates, and now I try to make her believe that I am going on them almost every single night. Perhaps Captain Goldensword needs more practice being dishonest?

NEVER.

It violates truth, justice, really good spaghetti, and everything else Captain Goldensword stands for. I must simply tell her the truth and. . . no. . . mother will ground my SI and henpeck him with shrill criticisms that make him want to move his bowels. . . hmmm. . . Aha! I will say this to her:

"Mother, I cannot tell you where it is that I am going in the evenings, but suffice it to say, that each night when I return, the ranks of the legions of Evil have been thinned. I would tell what it is that I do if I could, but I fear that it would put you at risk, and I simply care for you too much to allow that." and then beautiful music will play as my mother looks at me with newfound respect, her lower lip trembles and a single teardrop trickles down her chin as she. . .

Uh, pretend Captain Goldensword did not type that last part.

And now I must be off, but not to rend the skin and snap the skeletons of Evil as one might suppose. No, in fact, I have a new job as a living mannequin in the window of a secondhand clothing store on third street.